I have one of those calendars which sometimes prints a bit of thoroughly useful information underneath the date.
Today, in 1890, the Mormons renounced bigamy. All day I have had that silly rhyme in my head: Higomay-Hogomay, I don`t like monogamy/ Hogomay-Higomay, I can`t commit bigamy. Is this an old nursery rhyme from the time or an old Music Hall song?
Are there not pockets of quasi-Mormons here and there in remote valleys, marrying and procreating like there`s no tomorrow? I suppose if the Law catches up with them, there probably isn`t.


doatie

Yes, Doatie, there certainly are, busily polygamming as we speak. Others don't. The Mormons (Latter-Day Bores) are busily splintering into more little groups than even Yorkshire turnip growers or Saga holidaymakers. I've just finished reading in bed Under the Banner of Heaven, which gives some of their history (acc. to the author, anyway.) Whatever else, don't try that at home.

I was accosted by two shiny faced Mormons a few days ago. I was appalled at their ignorance given that they both had the title Elder (even though their balls could only have dropped a couple of weeks ago) and that they assumed the right to go round preaching to the rest of us. Neither of them knew what a humanist was nor the meaning of the word proselytise. Our delightful conversation ended when one of them exited sharply stage left with his junior elder scuttling off in his wake.

There was an old fellow of Lympne
Who married three wives at a time
When asked why the third
He said, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, Sir, is a crime!"

Met a few preachers on some bendy-buses recently. What arrogant fecking bores. Instead of moving away mumbling like me it's incredible how many people just sit there and listen to their diatribe.

According to the book mentioned (bought cheap at a sale), one particularly vicious divinely-inspired murderer joined his colleague on trial with a cell-made sign stuck to the rear of his jumpsuit: EXIT ONLY. The angel Moroni, he insisted, was in fact sodomite Satan in disguise. When the book was published, the appeals process apparently was still in motion. Why bother?